diff --git a/Swift/fucking-coffee.swift b/Swift/fucking-coffee.swift
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..e69de29
diff --git a/Swift/hangover.swift b/Swift/hangover.swift
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..67a096e
--- /dev/null
+++ b/Swift/hangover.swift
@@ -0,0 +1,40 @@
+import Foundation
+
+let accountSID = "TWILLIO_ACCOUNT_SID"
+let authToken = "TWILLIO_AUTH_TOKEN"
+
+let myNumber = "+XXX"
+let bossNumber = "+XXX"
+
+func Smackmybitch(){
+    let url = "https://api.twilio.com/2010-04-01/Accounts/\(accountSID)/Messages"
+    let parameters = ["From": "\(myNumber)", "To": "\(herNumber)", "Body": "\(message)"]
+    let auth = ["user": accountSID, "password": authToken]
+
+
+    var request = URLRequest(url: url)
+    request.setValue("Application/json", forHTTPHeaderField: "Content-Type")
+    request.httpMethod = "POST"
+    guard let httpBody = try? JSONSerialization.data(withJSONObject: parameters, options: []) else {
+            return
+        }
+    request.httpBody = httpBody
+    var authEncoded = "\(auth[user]!):\(auth[password]!)".dataUsingEncoding(NSASCIIStringEncoding, allowLossyConversion: true)!.base64EncodedStringWithOptions(NSDataBase64EncodingOptions.allZeros);
+    var authValue = "Basic \(authEncoded)"
+    urlRequest.setValue(authValue, forHTTPHeaderField: "Authorization")
+
+    let session = NSURLSession(configuration: config)
+    session.dataTaskWithRequest(request) { (data, response, error) -> Void in }.resume()
+}
+
+let excuses = [
+    "Locked out.",
+    "Pipes Broke.",
+    "Food Poisoning",
+    "Not feeling well"
+]
+
+let random = Int(arc4random_uniform(2))
+let randomReason = reasons[random]
+let message = "Gonna work from Home, \(randomReason)"
+Smackmybitch()
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/Swift/kumar-asshole.swift b/Swift/kumar-asshole.swift
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..e69de29
diff --git a/Swift/smack-my-bitch-up.swift b/Swift/smack-my-bitch-up.swift
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..7df0609
--- /dev/null
+++ b/Swift/smack-my-bitch-up.swift
@@ -0,0 +1,39 @@
+import Foundation
+
+let accountSID = "TWILLIO_ACCOUNT_SID"
+let authToken = "TWILLIO_AUTH_TOKEN"
+
+let myNumber = "+XXX"
+let herNumber = "+XXX"
+
+func Smackmybitch(){
+    let url = "https://api.twilio.com/2010-04-01/Accounts/\(accountSID)/Messages"
+    let parameters = ["From": "\(myNumber)", "To": "\(herNumber)", "Body": "\(message)"]
+    let auth = ["user": accountSID, "password": authToken]
+
+
+    var request = URLRequest(url: url)
+    request.setValue("Application/json", forHTTPHeaderField: "Content-Type")
+    request.httpMethod = "POST"
+    guard let httpBody = try? JSONSerialization.data(withJSONObject: parameters, options: []) else {
+            return
+        }
+    request.httpBody = httpBody
+    var authEncoded = "\(auth[user]!):\(auth[password]!)".dataUsingEncoding(NSASCIIStringEncoding, allowLossyConversion: true)!.base64EncodedStringWithOptions(NSDataBase64EncodingOptions.allZeros);
+    var authValue = "Basic \(authEncoded)"
+    urlRequest.setValue(authValue, forHTTPHeaderField: "Authorization")
+
+    let session = NSURLSession(configuration: config)
+    session.dataTaskWithRequest(request) { (data, response, error) -> Void in }.resume()
+}
+
+let reasons = [
+    "Working Hard",
+    "Gotta ship this feature",
+    "Somebody fucked the system again."
+]
+
+let random = Int(arc4random_uniform(2))
+let randomReason = reasons[random]
+let message = "Late at work. \(randomReason)"
+Smackmybitch()
\ No newline at end of file