diff --git a/R/smack_my_bitch_up.R b/R/smack_my_bitch_up.R
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..b16d7e2
--- /dev/null
+++ b/R/smack_my_bitch_up.R
@@ -0,0 +1,29 @@
+
+
+today = Sys.Date()
+
+# skip weekends
+if( weekdays(today) %in% c('Saturday','Sunday') ){
+  quit()  
+}
+
+# exit if no sessions with my username are found
+output = system("who", intern = TRUE)
+if( !( grep('^my_user_name', output) ) ){
+  quit()
+}
+
+# returns 'None' if the key doesn't exist
+TWILIO_ACCOUNT_SID = Sys.getenv('TWILIO_ACCOUNT_SID')
+TWILIO_AUTH_TOKEN  = Sys.getenv('TWILIO_AUTH_TOKEN')
+
+# Phone numbers
+my_number = '+xxx'
+her_number = '+xxx'
+
+reasons = c(
+  'Working hard',
+  'Gotta ship this feature',
+  'Someone fucked the system again'
+)
+